3 year fool!

Yes, the 1st of April is celebrated all around as "April fools day." Everyone playing jokes, tricking people, laughing and having fun! But it turns out I'm the only real fool today. See today marks my 3rd year of TTC and I feel like a fool. A fool that thought having a baby was going to be easy. A fool to think IVF would fix my Infertility. A fool to think that I would never get to the 3 year mark.

See I remember around 2 years ago Hubby told me this story of someone in his workplace that had been trying for 3 years and my respones to this was, "Well that is ridiculous, I would do something before we got to 3 years." Umm, see FOOL! I thought IVF was a sure fire way to get pregnant and that would be our escape plan. Oh how nieave I was. See I remembering clearly about a year later standing in from of my linen closet just before starting IVF and having a light bulb moment, you know the one that hits you like a truck doing 100 on a freeway.  "What if IVF doesn't work?" I was just too scared to think about, so I pushed it to the back part of my brain next to bad nights out and embarrassing moments. (Sure there in your brain but their not something you want to think about.)

Now I have this burning desire to know, What you do if IVF doesn't work? I mean besides eating a lot of chocolate. But I did that already and it did help! Ok maybe a bit. (He, he, he!) But really IVF is like the end of the track when it comes to Fertility Treatments. You've been on other trains and you know that they just lead you to an exchange train and now your on train IVF and you missed your stop and you have ended up at the end of IVF track and there is no other trains in sight. Just darkness and silence. How did I end up here? This was meant to be my express train to motherhood but it turns out I must have brought the wrong ticket because I'm totally lost.