My BFP secret

So I have been keeping a secret. Last Tuesday when my period was a few days late I poas and got 2 lines. A day later I saw the GP, the day after that a BT and the day after that got the results of HCG level of 1800. Now I thought that when the moment that I finally got a positive that I would want to yell it at the roof tops. But I didn't. I was shit scared. There has been so many m/c being announced that I just couldn't get pumped about it. I feel like a fish out of water. I've never fallen. I have never felt this and I certainly didn't feel like there was a baby inside me. I called my FS who is also a Obstetrician and the nurse booked me in for a 6 week scan. Apparently due to my endo and infertility, I'm a high risk pregnancy. I have been so worried about ectopic and just in general. Friday morning of the scan I vomited my breakfast up after a number of morning that week of feeling sick. So at 11am we went to Dr T where he did a u/s. The first thing he said was is there one or two. TWO I didn't even think about this. He said 1. I said, Is it were it should be and he replied yes. Finally I could breath after holding my breath for a week and a half. Then he was silent. My mind started to wonder. Fuck what is it in the right spot but is dead! He then pointed to the screen and said see that tiny white spot that's moving up and down. I squint and say "Yes." He then said, "That's the heartbeat." WHAT! OMG! Since then I have been up and down. I'm happy that there is a little peanut in there but nervous of the 15 to 20% chance we have of m/c. I told him I had morning sickness that morning and he told me that that was a good sign and that women with morning sickness are less likely to m/c. That night (last night) I felt sick and then dry reached about 5 times today. Then tonight hubby started cooking dinner and the smell make me run to the toilet and dry reach a few more times. Then I sat on the bathroom floor balling my eyes out. This was definitely the release that I had been needing since I found out.
I feel horrible that I hadn't told my followers but I was just not ready to write about it. I know that you girls will be my support if anything happens and I need that. I'm sorry it took this long to tell you all but I just wasn't ready for the congratulations. This really took me for a spin. I was planning my FET for the end of this month and certainly didn't except a positive test when I did it. I actually thought I might have had a cyst back and that's why I was late. Turns out I was wrong. The 2 lines came up before I even had time to put it down on the toilet paper. I said to my mum that it feels like it's a dream. She said, "It is a dream, a dream that you have wanted for over 3 years."